I had been doing well...

It's been awhile... a LONG while since I've written.

I've been out of the hospital for 2 years. Read that again. 2 whole years.
Where am I on my journey? Good question.

For the last 8 months I've been focusing on my physical health--- eating healthy, exercising the last month or so.... and I even had gastric bypass surgery.
But right now? I am struggling. Beyond. Belief.

I don't know up from down. Left from right.
I want to give up.

But I don't want to hurt everyone around me.

It's bullshit.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.